Minutes From Somewhere Else
by Brinley
Summary: After a long separation, the group of friends are brought back to Capeside for a startling announcement, and Dawson, Joey and Pacey are left to deal with the aftermath.
1. The Announcement

Minutes From Somewhere Else 

Chapter One:

The Announcement

By Riley

"Oh, please, no. I can't believe the size of that thing. It's disgustingly huge."

Pacey reacted genially, "Yeah. I know. Thanks."

"Gross, and no, I was talking about your truck. It's way too big. Is that really yours?"

"Jen, do you honestly think I would buy a truck of that size? It's a loaner from a friend because my ever-so-trusty piece is out of service for the moment. "

"Is your friend from Kentucky? He should consider hanging some horns in the back window, right above a gun rack."

"Oh, how I've missed the witticisms of Jen Lindley."

Jen smiled up at Pacey, basking in their camaraderie after such a long separation. She could see a slight change in his appearance—he still had his baby face, of course, but she could see a difference. She mulled over the possibility of maturity settling in on Pacey Witter, and then recalled that it was _Pacey_, so then again…He caught her eyeing him and cautiously asked, "What?"

"It's you. You look so—old. Not old-man-old, but…I don't know."

"Good. That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say about me after all this time: old-man-old."

"I'm sorry. It's just that you've matured into an attractive—should I say man? Yes, that's it. You're all grown up."

"Kids these days."

 They continued strolling toward the over-sized truck before she quickly informed Pacey, "I hope you don't think I'm going to ride in that thing with you. When we agreed on going together, this was not part of the deal. I can honestly tell you that I'm scared of it."

"That's what all the girls say." He smiled playfully at her, "Trust me, you'll get used to it."

Jen stopped instantly and glared at Pacey. Shaking her head, she replied, "Okay, now I'm really not riding in it. The fact that you continue to add sexual connotation to every thing that I say is not something I can deal with while riding in a monster truck. Sorry."

Pacey laughed momentarily as he watched Jen try to stand her ground. 

"Jen, it's all in fun. Come on. Give it a chance. I promise, no more allusions to my anatomy."

She rubbed her forehead, cracking an all too familiar smile. "I think I'm going to regret this." As Pacey opened the truck door for her, he had to practically lift her into the passenger's side before he could climb into the driver's side. She laughed at what a ridiculous sight they must be. "Let's get this over with."

                The restaurant was dimly lit, and only about half full Joey noticed, as she opened the entrance door. The darkness sank into her and relaxed her nerves a little bit. It was almost tranquil; the mood that could be set by simply dimming the lights, Joey thought. 

"Joey." That was all he had to say for her heart to wrench with excitement. His voice drew something peaceful from her every time she was near him. She couldn't explain it. She just felt it. His face was a refreshing sight as she walked into his mother's restaurant. Joey could see the changes school had wrought on Dawson. His smile, his eyes—he looked the same, just older. Joey realized how much she had missed him with one look into his dark eyes. They embraced, soaking in the reunion, holding each other for as long as they could. 

"Dawson…you look great. You really do. It's been…well, it's been too long." She recovered with a smile as he ushered her to a large table in the back of the restaurant. He courteously pulled her chair out for her and sat in the next chair. He leaned in closely; keeping his eyes locked with hers, and asked, "It's good to finally see you again. You look so amazing, Jo...How are you?" Joey could faintly smell Dawson's cologne and was almost completely taken in by it. She had hoped for this—effortless and comfortable. That's how things have always been, and she was grateful for that constant in her life. 

"Good. How about you? How have you been?"

His eyes softened as he truthfully replied. "I missed you. You look…amazing. Have I said that yet? You do."

Joey laughed shyly at his compliment. "So, Dawson, tell me everything." She smiled genuinely at him. "What's the special occasion?" 

"I'm just glad you came. Having you here…I really needed you tonight." He was being so earnest; after all, they were just having dinner. She hadn't realized how important tonight was to Dawson. She couldn't help slipping in a smile at his intensity.  

"Yeah? Me, too." For only a second longer she gazed into his eyes before he stole them away. He stood and watched the entrance door anxiously. 

"Are you expecting someone else?" Joey asked, a little surprised at his angst. 

Dawson looked at her in confusion. "Jo—didn't I tell you?" She laughed uncertainly, "What?" Dawson watched her closely before replying, "I'm sorry. I thought I'd mentioned it to everyone. Because I actually, um, invited everyone.  To come. This weekend. You know…everyone."

Trying to hide her disappointment, she quickly responded, "Right. Of course. It'll be, um, good to see everyone. Really…good." She was annoyed at herself for thinking she was the only person Dawson would want to see…it's just that, she wanted some alone time with him.  He was rarely in Boston, and when he was, she barely saw him. It had been so long, and he looked so good. He was her best friend—

Dawson interrupted her thoughts as he quietly replied, "Yeah," never taking his eyes off the entrance door. 

Before she could draw his attention again, Jack and Andie walked in the entrance, with Andie dragging some guy behind her. Andie's face lit up when she saw Dawson, letting out a small yelp as she ran up and eagerly hugged him. Dawson laughed softly as she talked so rapidly that he couldn't make sense of her excited babble. Jack leaned over and quickly gave Dawson a hug, and then continued to where Joey was sitting.

She immediately stood up and hugged him tightly. "Jack, you look incredible." His hair was longer, but his face was still boyish and sweet. 

"Me? You look terrific. I can't believe how long it's been. Where have you been all this time?"

Joey avoided the question knowingly. "It's been a long time, Jack. It's weird to be back here and…" Joey could feel the panic crawling up into her throat. Since she had chosen to avoid Capeside like the plague since High School graduation—well, that is, until now—she knew she couldn't avoid the questions and the looks forever. 

                Giving her a minute to finish, he replied thoughtfully, "Yeah, I know." He didn't want to pry. It wasn't necessary in order to understand. He reached over and set his hand on hers, and she grew reflective on her youth.

                "So, Jack, what about you? How have you been?" 

He cracked a smile, "Pretty good." 

                "How's…life?"

                He let out a small laugh before replying. "Not as good as I had hoped." His face grew solemn as he went on, "Well, after my somewhat unhealthy relationship ended, I have since resorted to listening to complaint rock and delving in self pity." He laughed at himself again. "Nice, huh?"

                "Jack, I'm so sorry. If I had any other way of coping, I would let you in on it. But, unfortunately for us, complaint rock will have to suffice." She smiled reassuringly at him.

 "That's why I've missed you, Jo."

"Pacey, I'm not sure, but I think this thing is growling…can you hear that?" Pacey laughed at Jen, as she nervously held onto the dash and the passenger door with white knuckles. "I'm glad you're enjoying our ride-from-hell," she replied, trying to sound angry at Pacey. 

"Jen, we're almost there. I think you'll make it in one piece." Jen glanced at Pacey long enough to give him an aggravated smile. 

They passed through the unforgettable streets of Capeside, each staring with a sense of detachment. Everything appeared vacant compared to Pacey's memory.  It seemed only too long ago that Pacey once roamed these streets with Dawson and the others. Emptiness invaded his heart as he realized what he already knew: you can never come home again and have it feel like "home."

After minutes of reflection passed in silence, Jen asked sincerely, "Is this going to be awkward? Not that we haven't seen these people in forever, but doesn't it feel wrong coming back?" 

"Wrong? How?" 

"Wrong—as in we're trying to recreate a past among friends that no longer exists. This will force us to realize our days of careless youth are completely gone…how dismal is that?"

Pacey considered this and answered honestly, "I think seeing everyone is going to open our eyes as to how far apart we've really drifted. That's unavoidable. I can't remember the last time I saw Andie or…Joey."

"I don't think I've seen Dawson since he moved to New York. Do you know why he _really asked us here?  I mean, as we barrel through the streets of Capeside, I am wondering that very thing. "_

"Dawson is _the reason why any of us will be here.  He's the only one who could actually force everyone to return to this dreaded place." Jen laughed to herself. "Good old Dawson Leery…"_

"Well, we'll be there, so that's all that matters." He flashed her a teasing smile.

"Oh my gosh, Joey Potter. How are you? I haven't seen you in forever. This is David. He's my boyfriend. I met him in Italy but it was so crazy because then I didn't see him again until I was in New York and we totally—

"It's good to see you again, Andie." Joey replied sincerely, as she hugged Andie for the first time in forever. Andie stopped talking long enough to squeeze Joey tightly, and then forced David to shake Joey's hand. 

"It's good to meet you, David."

His grin was cheesy, but heartfelt as he scarcely spoke, "You, too." Perfect for Andie, Joey thought, quiet and friendly. Andie sat herself next to Jack and went on to explain how she and David began dating. Joey listened absentmindedly as she thought about her present situation: Not having dinner alone with Dawson, and unavoidable confrontation with certain feelings and people. Her disappointment had subsided into apprehension because she knew it was inevitable to see Pacey again. Not that she wanted to avoid him completely, but she simply hadn't considered seeing him this weekend. It had been so long. She knew things had changed, they were different people now, but would there be any sort of awkwardness?  It would be good to see Jen, though and bask in the comforts of her cynicism. 

As these thoughts crowded her mind, she saw Jen and Pacey walk through the door—together. Hmm, didn't expect that. They both smiled warmly as they approached the table and Dawson promptly hugged Pacey and then embraced Jen. Everyone was all smiles and happiness as Pacey and Jen walked around the table saying their hellos. Joey watched as Jack and Jen embraced, holding it longer than most. He was laughing as Jen told him some story, and Joey thought they looked at home because they were together again. Joey tried to remember why those two hadn't seen each other in so long, but realized she was next in line. As the angst mounted, Joey stood as Pacey slowly approached. He gently pulled Joey close, giving her an affectionate hug. It felt much more comfortable than expected. He pulled back and gave her a genuine-Pacey smile. "It's good to see you again, Jo."

She easily returned the smile and the compliment, "You too, Pace." He pulled away from her completely and took a seat next to David. Pacey looked exactly the same, only his eyes seemed more somber than she remembered. She had to admit to herself how much she had missed him. Lingering on him longer than she had meant, Joey quickly looked to Jen who was behind him in line. She hugged Joey tightly, laughing at the scene they had created in the restaurant.

Dawson walked over to the empty chair next to Joey and became host. "I'm really glad you could all make it back to Capeside. I know it wasn't easy for everyone to come back, but I appreciate it all the same. There _is a reason I asked you to come. I wanted you all to be here because I've had you with me, regardless of miles or time, always. And, I needed you here with me for this, as well. There's someone important I want you to meet."_

Dawson walked toward a nearby table as everyone looked at each other questioningly. Nobody wanted to say what each was thinking, but Joey could honestly say she didn't know what to think. Who was so important to meet that we all had to be here?

Dawson returned eagerly with a girl in tow behind him. His eyes were bright as he said, "Everyone, I want you to meet Shannon. Shannon, these are my friends." 

Joey smiled awkwardly at Shannon, and then at the others because she had failed to notice the significance of the moment, and she wasn't sure if she was the only one. Pacey smiled, never taking his eyes off Shannon, while Jen and the others had the same look as Joey, plastered on their faces.  

And then Dawson spoke his next words in what Joey considered a foreign language. She could see his lips move, but she couldn't comprehend his words. Her first reaction was a confused, "What?" followed by a look of surprise by everyone at the table. She looked around at the others; her face locked in a state of bewilderment. She knew she'd missed something important, but what was it? What had he said?

Dawson, knowing that his words would shock, looked excited and eager to repeat himself, 

"Shannon and I are engaged." 

The restaurant darkened and Joey's skin felt colder than she remembered, causing a shiver down her back. Her head began to ache as reality hit everyone else at the table.  Joey still felt like something was missing.  Was this real? Was she in some alternate universe? No, of course not. Her life had always been a cruel joke. 

"I want you guys to know I really appreciate you making the trip out here. It means a lot to us both. It's important to me that you know each other because all of you are vital people in my life."

Silence ensued as they all considered what just took place. Dawson looked pleadingly at Joey as if he would have her stand up and give a toast. Joey looked away from him and fought the urge to stand up empty the contents of her stomach onto the table. How could she give a toast to something like this? She could feel her throat tightening, and her heart racing a mile a minute. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Shannon smiling promisingly, probably praying for someone to say something.

Andie was the first to jump up and hug Dawson and Shannon in unison. She eagerly gave her congratulations and expressed her excitement over their news. Her voice squealed with delight. Everyone soon followed her example, each offering hugs and his or her best wishes. But Joey couldn't move. The entire scene was making her want to vomit. Instead she just sat in her chair, completely stunned. Who was this girl Shannon anyway? Does Dawson _really know the kind of person she is? Joey was meeting Shannon for the first time: on the day of their engagement. That was just wrong, wasn't it? _

However shocked and hurt she felt, she stood up finally and congratulated them both. She tried to put on a smile, but being fake was never her strong suit. Everyone remained standing, talking to the happy couple, food cold on the table, with the darkness of the restaurant settling on Joey's heart. 

She wanted to hurt Dawson. She really did. Physically or verbally—either would do. She could see the happiness exuding out of him. She'd known him too long to miss the signs. But, it was just all too sudden. She did feel somewhat guilty for not being ecstatic, denying him any excitement he probably expected from her—since she was his "best" friend. But don't best friends tell each other something as important as this? It had been awhile since she'd seen him, but he never mentioned _engagement_ in any phone calls. That's not something she would forget. Shannon had just been another girl...or at least that's what she had always thought.

Dawson pulled a chair up to the table and placed it between him and Joey, so Shannon could sit next to him. Joey grudgingly moved for her. She could feel everyone's eyes on her and tried  to conceal the hurt hidden behind a closed mouth and averted eyes. She accidentally made eye contact with Pacey at one point, long enough for him to see the sorrow in her eyes.  He suddenly realized this was a shock to her. She hadn't known previous to tonight. For some reason, he had assumed she already knew. He felt the need to say something to her, but not now…not in front of everyone. 

The group of friends continued chatting until the restaurant was empty. Everyone was tired, but Dawson suggested that they all go to his place and watch a movie together—just like old times. They all agreed except Joey. She gracefully bowed out, explaining that it had been a long day after traveling and all. They all piled out of the restaurant, everyone walking to their cars. Joey watched the others leave together, laughing and calling out to one another as she walked in the opposite direction to her own car. She could see Dawson's arms around Shannon as she giggled at something he had said. Pacey noticed Joey walking alone and called out, "Jo?! You sure you're not coming?" She shook her head and quickly got into the driver's seat of her car. Pacey watched her drive off and was tempted to follow her home, when Andie distracted him. By the time he turned around again, Joey's car was gone.

"Pacey, let's go!"

Joey rested her head on a soft pillow Bessie had left for her on the living room couch. Every room was full at the Bed and Breakfast, and for that Joey was honestly grateful—that meant Bessie and her family were being taken care of. The house was dark and the warmth of the room should've relaxed Joey's nerves. There was nothing but silence except for a few of Bessie's stirrings upstairs. However, the stillness of the house made Joey all the more restless. She was still reeling from Dawson's announcement. She had been trying to sleep for hours and as she tried once again to close her eyes and force herself to sleep, her mind wouldn't stop running. 

She laid in the quiet of the night on her couch for quite some time, before finally giving up sleep and instead taking a walk down to the creek. The air was chilly, but Joey didn't mind. She lazily walked down the grassy lawn and onto the dock near her old house. She tried not to think at all. She watched the twinkling water lap the edge of the dock and tried to lose herself in it. 

"Joey?" 

Surprised, Joey turned to find Dawson standing on the dock with her, watching intently. 

"Dawson. What are you doing here?" She tried to keep the irritation out of her voice, but not very successfully.

Dawson paused before answering, "I came to talk to you. I was about to knock on your door, when I saw you walking towards the dock. You looked like you didn't want to be disturbed, so I...I waited…I wanted to give you some time alone…here."

"No Need. I'm fine." Joey turned back to the water as Dawson stood beside her, never taking his eyes from her face. 

"Yeah, I know. That's what you've been saying all night. But, I, I wanted to make sure we're fine. Are we fine, Jo?" Instead of replying, Joey listened again to the lapping water, and wished herself on the serene creek, away from this moment.

"Jo?"

"Yeah? Sorry."

                "I realize I could have warned you about the engagement and tonight and everything, but—

                "—Spoken so casually—

"--it was too big, Joey. It was this moment that had to be…just right. For everyone."

                "Well, let me be the first to congratulate you on getting it 'just right.' I'm just glad you waited until now to humiliate me and everyone else."

"This isn't about you, Joey. It's not always about you."

"Said the pot."

Surprised by her biting remarks, Dawson called her on it. "What's your problem?"

"Can I just say that I'm _not_ fine here?" She turned to face Dawson and looked into his eyes and saw his heart. His eyes were intense and she could feel her strength diminishing. "I want to be fine. I want us to be fine. But it's not. I feel like you've been hiding this…thing…from me and I'm hurt. You've made it weird and awkward…and can you honestly say you don't feel that way? I thought we…well, I obviously thought wrong."

Dawson kept silent as Joey let her eyes fall to the ground. "Why didn't you tell me? I don't understand that. I can't. This is too big for you not to tell me…and then you…" the hurt in her voice was translucent as she let her words drop. 

                Neither spoke as she turned and faced the creek. Not knowing what to say, Dawson reached his arm around Joey's shoulder and pulled her close, but received no response. 

                She finally asked, "Are you sure about this? Because if you're not—

                Frustrated, Dawson's voice rose, "Jo, I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life. What I have with Shannon is amazing and I can honestly say…I love her." Dawson dropped his arm to his side and met her face to face. "But that doesn't change what we have."

                "What we have! What exactly do _we_ have? An illusion of a friendship, Dawson." She struggled to keep her anger under control.

"You're right, Jo. It's nothing but an illusion. You confirmed that tonight when you sat brooding at the table all night…You, of all people, were the last person I thought would be so self-involved and egocentric about something so important to me. Do you know how uneasy you made everyone feel, especially Shannon? No you wouldn't know Joey, because you were so worried about yourself, how could you? You really proved yourself tonight."

Joey let his words sink in and felt the shame rising to her cheeks. Dawson calmed down when he didn't receive a retort from her. Angry tears burned her cheeks as she stood next to Dawson in silence.

 "You are still my best friend. You are. What we have is just as important and real to me as it has always been. But what Shannon and I have is real also. All I'm asking from you is your support—as you are my best friend."

                As he spoke these her words, her heart ached deeper than she had ever felt before. Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought the pain. "Dawson, you are missing something very crucial here: _She_ is your best friend. And if she isn't she _should_ be. Because when you commit to someone for the rest of your life, they should be…that person. And I can't give you that. I'm sorry Dawson but I don't know if I have anything to give to you anymore."

"I don't understand you, Joey. What is this really about? The fact that you weren't forewarned…or the fact that I'm getting married—because the line is pretty blurry right now."

Weary of Dawson, Joey stopped him. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of talking and…you should just go now. I want you to go." Joey pulled away from him and walked briskly to the house, more tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Dawson called to her, "I'm not going to let you do this Joey! I'm not going to let you shut me out."  She ignored him and kept up her fast pace to the house until she reached the door. She opened and closed it without looking back. Just like Dawson did, she thought painfully. 


	2. Once and Again

Chapter Two:

Once and Again

By Riley

Joey awoke with the clinging and clanging of dishes in the kitchen, discovering she had a pounding headache. As she rubbed her eyes open, she could see the sunlight scattered across the room, and laid back down, closing her eyes in hopes of getting more sleep. 

"Joey, are you awake?" Bessie asked at the entrance of the living room.

"Fortunately." Joey opened her eyes finally to see the back of Bessie as she went back into the kitchen. Joey slowly stood and followed her sister into the kitchen to find a table full of B&B guests eating their breakfast. Joey watched them for a moment of confusion, then looked down and found herself dressed in a white tank top and some pink pajama pants—her fuzzy slippers completing the humiliation. 

"Um, Hi…everyone." Joey all but ran out of the kitchen as Bessie's laughter followed her all the way up the stairs. Joey immediately hopped in the shower, let the warm water wash away her thoughts.

"Joey, that was some entrance you made."

"Laugh it up, Bessie. How can we further embarrass me while I'm here."

Bessie smiled and continued putting away her linens. "How was dinner last night?" "Don't ask." Bessie looked up in surprise at Joey, while Joey finished brushing her hair. Joey looked at her sister and said, "Trust me, it's not worth talking about."

"Really? Because Dawson hasn't stopped calling you this morning." Joey simply shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the bedroom. 

"I'm going for a walk, Bessie. I'll see you later."

"Is everything okay?" Bessie called as Joey headed out the front door. 

"Everything's fine."

She walked out of the house in the late afternoon with no place to go. Watching the creek's calm waters, she pulled her hair back as she strolled down her lawn. She stopped momentarily and took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. Joey wanted to get lost in the creek's serenity—it somehow had this natural harmony with the things surrounding it, leaving her with a lost feeling for home. Regardless of this peaceful atmosphere, her heart could not stop pounding. She became aggravated with herself for so many conflicting reasons: for coming back to Capeside; for selfishly wanting Dawson for herself; for wanting to do bodily harm to a girl she didn't even know. That's Capeside—the one place she could always count on for grief. Seldom did anything good happen here and if it did, it was fleeting. 

A slight breeze chilled her skin as she forced herself forward to the familiar creek. Thoughts of her childhood with Dawson and Pacey sprang to mind, but she quickly remembered how much reminiscing hurt. She wondered where everyone else was. Probably drooling over Shannon. Except maybe Pacey. He was never one to fuss. She began walking in Pacey's direction and firmly decided she would go see him. What could it hurt—after years of separation they were still…friends. Why not?

Joey found him sprawled on the couch, watching  "The Price Is Right" on television. She couldn't help but smile as he focused so intently on the game show. He glanced up and found her watching him. Some things never change.

"Hey there, Tiger."

"Tiger?"

"First thing that came to mind." Joey laughed and sat down on the soft couch next to Pacey. He offered her the remote control, but she refused. She leaned into him enough that she could feel his warmth and for whatever reason—it was comforting

"How's your show?"

"Mindlessly entertaining---as is my life." Pacey looked over at Joey, surprised she came to see him of all people. 

"So, what brings you to Dougie's?"

"I wanted to be entertained." She said.

"Clever."

"Where's Doug?"

"The ever-elusive Dougie has gone out—not out of the closet per se, just out of the house."

Joey laughed at him and was thankful things were still normal. "So, what's in store for today, Pace?" He looked at the TV for a minute, then glanced at her and said, "Let's get out of here." Pacey stood up and she willingly placed her hand in his as he pulled her up. 

"Um, where are we thinking of going…only because the whole getting out into town thing isn't what I was going for." Pacey nodded knowingly, his face turning serious. "You want to be alone with me. I understand Potter, no need to explain yourself." She rolled her eyes. "Not quite, Pacey. I just…I really don't feel like seeing anyone right now." Pacey looked at her and answered genuinely. "I understand. How about a walk?" Joey agreed, relieved at not having to face anyone else right now. Her emotions were too weak to handle confrontation with Dawson, or anyone else. 

They walked along the grass and followed no particular path.  She shoved her hands in her pockets to keep them warm in the cool weather. Pacey relieved Joey of any stress by simply talking about light-hearted matters and never going beyond the surface. He was proving himself a real friend to her. A few times he tried to ask about Dawson, but she always turned it into another subject. After some time, they sustained their walk in a comfortable silence, each growing nostalgic of their former home.

"So, what about you? Now that I've admitted to my recently, but none-too-surprising, failed relationship…significant other?"

"Well, I don't know if I would call her a significant other…more like daytime friend, night time lover."

Joey laughed out loud. "Nice. Does she know you refer to her as that?"

"She likes it."

"Are you pretty serious with this girl?"

Pacey watched Joey, but quickly looked ahead after he spotted her watching him closely. "Not really. I mean, she's a great person, but it's still pretty early in the game."

"Yeah?" Joey looked forward solemnly, realizing her miserable situation. "I'm happy for you then…that you have someone."

After a beat, "So, how does it feel to be back here in Capeside, away from the excitement of the big city?"

 "I don't know. It's not _as horrifying as I had imagined, but it's not the same either…on second thought, it is as horrifying." She smiled, "You?"_

"I know what you mean. Especially after last night's declaration."

Joey instantly clammed up when Dawson's name was mentioned. She kept silent as Pacey continued, "I have to say, that was a surprise—to everyone." Again, nothing from Joey. 

"Considering how long they've known each other..."

Joey fought it, but couldn't resist. "How long?"

Pacey shrugged his shoulders. "Eight--nine months, maybe."

Joey looked dolefully at him, "Did you know? I mean, did he tell you they were…"

"No. I knew of Shannon, but I didn't know how serious it was." Joey nodded her head, she being in the same position. Silence ensued as they continued to walk. Pacey tried to hold back, but knew things had to come out sometime. He could see it on her face. "How are you holding up?" She automatically replied, "Fine," without even thinking about her answer. 

Pacey didn't push anymore. He softly rejoined, "Yeah." Then, without hesitation, he spoke thoughtfully, "This is hard, Jo. I know it is…Life goes on without our permission and we hope and pray the people we love will pine for us, holding their breath for our return. But they don't. And that's when it hurts. Whether we expected it to or not, it still hurts." Pacey understood all too well.

Joey watched the ground as she barely spoke.  "I didn't expect him to pine…I just didn't…I never thought this would happen. I just assumed…"

"You'd end up together. Yeah…I know." Joey gave him a weak smile. "You know that cheesy quote about 'If you love something, set it free and if it returns' and so on?"

"Yeah?"

"That's a stupid quote."

Pacey laughed to himself. "You're right, Jo. It is."

"I'm glad I'm here…with you, Pacey." She looked at him curiously. "Why didn't we ever keep in touch?" Thinking a minute, she went on, "I mean beyond the fact that we had a semi-dramatic break up and a series of disturbing relationships. Wait, what was my point?" She smiled more meaningfully and he had to laugh at her. "Exactly." 

There was this moment that followed. Both felt it as they gazed at each other. It was a small moment, but one only they could realize and appreciate. A moment of sheer understanding, both forgiving of the past and accepting of the future. Their eyes turned forward, but a new consciousness for one another remained. "Let's head back." Pacey nodded and they took the long way home, their conversation lasting the entire distance. 

Arriving home, refreshed from bonding with Pacey, she found the house empty. There was a note lying on the kitchen counter from Bessie saying she was going to be out for a while. Joey reproached herself for not spending more time with her sister, considering how infrequently she came home. Feeling her stomach growl, she headed for the pantry and pulled out the peanut butter and bread. The phone rang just as she grabbed the Grape jelly from the fridge. 

"Hello?"

"Hey…is this Joey?"

Joey answered knowingly, "Hi Jen."

"Joey Potter, how are you?"

Mockingly, Joey replied, "Fabulous. You?"

"Splendid. I was hoping you would be home, so we could go out. Let's go play for a while. Jack's already here, and Andie and Dave. We'll call Pacey and Dawson--it'll be just like the good ol' days." Joey's heart dropped, knowing she had to turn Jen down.  "I can't. You know: Bessie, the B&B—I really better stay and help out tonight."

"Come on, Joey. We need you. Jack's starting to cry. He really is. And it's not attractive. " Joey laughed, but still refused.

"Okay. Well, how about I call you tomorrow and we'll make a day of it?"

"Sounds good. Have a good time."

"Bye." Joey replaced the phone on the receiver and realized she really didn't feel like being alone tonight. She finished making her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and headed for the living room. Eating slowly, she considered her options: 1) Help Bessie. 2) Wound herself by spending time with friends. Hmmm. Alone at home it is. 

As she finished wiping down the kitchen counters, Bessie walked into the kitchen looking exhausted. "Bessie, don't worry about the rest of this, I'll take care of it." Bessie watched Joey continue to clean and tiredly replied, "I've missed you, Josephine Potter. You've really grown up." Joey paused and glanced up at Bessie. "Look at you, Bessie. When did you become a sentimentalist?"

"I can see it in your eyes."

Joey laughed quietly, "The all-telling eyes? There's not much to see." Trying to change the subject, she added, "Seriously, Bess, leave this to me. You never get a break. Please, go out with Bodie and Alex." Wistfully Bessie watched her sister for a moment longer, before standing up and walking up stairs to change. "I love you, Joey." 

Joey rinsed her washcloth in the sink before wiping down the kitchen table. She appreciated how much work could take one's mind off things. After picking up a few more things, she glanced at her watch. It was only nine o'clock. Joey walked to the front door, distantly watching for Dawson to come to her door and tell her the last couple of days have been a complete mistake. 

Pacey showed up instead. He knocked lightly on the door around ten, afraid to wake up Alex or anyone else. Joey found him at the front door, dressed in khakis and a dark sweater. He actually looked—tempting. 

"What are you all dressed up for?"

"I've come to entertain you, once again."

"Really?"

"Well, when Jen told me you were unable to attend the extravaganza tonight, I gave my deepest apologies and quit their company. I'd rather hang out with you."

Joey shook her head, "Always thinking of others, huh Pace?"

"Keep it to yourself."

She invited him in and he followed her into the living room. "So, what am I missing?" Joey plopped down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. Pacey took a seat next to her before replying, "Trust me when I say nothing."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, well, even if I was, that would be okay."

Pacey looked around the room and asked coaxingly, "So, what are we going to do tonight?" 

"Up for some babysitting? Alex is asleep up in his room."

"I knew you'd come through for me."

Joey smiled sadly, "Sorry. I know this probably wasn't you're idea of entertainment." Pacey smiled widely, "Who cares? We're in Capeside. What else is going on in this sad excuse for a town?"

Joey sat back comfortably on the couch, but then quickly sat up again. "Are you up for a movie?"

"Always."

Joey stood and walked over to a bookshelf, returning with movies in each hand. "Our choices are sad, but Bessie isn't quite up-to-date. Either 'The Fugitive' or 'Ever After?'" 

Pacey sighed. "That's tough. I'm going to have to go with Fugitive." Joey looked at the both movie cases for a minute before Pacey laughed and spoke again, "What I meant to say was 'Ever After.' I love that movie."

Joey gave Pacey a half smile as he stood up and followed her to her bedroom upstairs. "So, Bessie decided to put a TV in here?"

"Yeah. I guess she likes to keep Alex in here with movies when the guests are all over the house."  He stood awkwardly as she inserted the movie into the VCR, and then quickly laid head first at the end of the bed. 

"Stay awhile Pace."

Pacey couldn't explain it, but he hesitated and then followed Joey's lead and laid right next to her, trying to get comfortable, while realizing he was next to the girl had had once loved beyond anything imaginable. He felt all too self-conscious, knowing it was the glint of light that shone on Joey's hair, and the heat of her body, as she lay so close to him. 

"Are you uncomfortable?" she asked as he shifted once again.

"No, I'm good."

Joey raised her eyebrows uncertainly, "Okay."

Pacey silently prayed he would get through this movie without making an utter fool of himself. 

The movie came and went. If one were to ask them what happened, only from memory would they be able to relate what happened. Joey's mind wandered everywhere: from Dawson to school to Pacey, and then back again. It was as if she were torturing herself with a sick cycle of gloomy thoughts. Not that Pacey brought these kinds of thoughts to her mind. He was just there for her, and it was depressing to acknowledge that she needed him or anyone.

Pacey, on the other hand, was thinking entirely too much about Joey. In fact he tried to divert his thoughts back to his girlfriend, but struggled as he confused her face with Joey's. Staring absently at the TV, he felt guilty for feeling something he knew he shouldn't—on so many levels. Yet, he couldn't break away form it. He had developed an addiction to torturing himself with this girl.

As the final credits rolled down the television screen, Joey commented, "We should've watched Fugitive because this movie is an official failure." She rested her head on her elbows, laying flat on the bed's surface. "I mean, who would honestly believe those two people would end up together. It's crap."

"Tell me what you really think."

"Why moviemakers pour complete drivel into our brains as if we're so simple-minded that we'd actually buy into it? Answer me that."

Pacey watched Joey with an urge to provoke, so she would turn and face him. "Hmmm. I recall a time long ago when you preferred this movie above all others."

That did it. Joey was up on her elbows, ready to respond. "Yeah, try when I was too ignorant to think for myself—

"—Right. As opposed to now—

"—Which is exactly the type of people they prey on. They seduce us into believing they care about us and—people should be more responsible and be honest with each other."

Confused, Pacey looked around the room. "We _are_ still talking about a movie, right?"

Joey sighed and laid her head back down in the bed, facing away from Pacey. He continued, "Joey, you and I both know this is not about a movie. I'm not going to force you into talking about anything you don't want to…but you can. You're obviously going through something right now, so if you need to talk or anything…you can talk to me."

"You're going to think I'm the devil incarnate, but does Shannon make you sick?" She sat up on her elbows and faced him, serious as ever. "I know that's a pretty juvenile remark, but doesn't she literally make you want to vomit?"

"Wow, Jo. I knew you were upset, but personal jabs. Cut the girl some slack."

She looked up at him, her face somber as she quietly laughed at herself, before letting a tear slide down her cheek. 

"I'm just…lost." Pacey gently wiped away another tear. "You're not lost, Jo."  She nodded slowly, acknowledging the truth of her statement. "Just when I think I know what I want…where I'm going with my life: college, a master's maybe…I come home and find Dawson—getting married of all things. And all of the sudden, I can't find my way back to that place. The place where everything fits."

Pacey couldn't resist wiping away another tear before responding, "You may feel lost now, but you're not. You're the only person I've known who is so resolute about life." She looked at him calmly. "I don't know." Her eyes watered as she went on, "I'm so confused. This entire—thing, I never even saw it coming. I can see the signs _now.  How he talked about her, the things he would tell me. But I chose to disregard all of it."_

"You didn't want to see it. That's not so crazy." More tears spilled as Pacey slowly touched her soft hair in consolation. "No, it's not sane or healthy or…" Pacey sat up and gently pulled Joey to him. He drew her close into a comforting embrace. Joey buried her face in Pacey's chest and let the persistent tears escape. 

After her tears subsided, she sagged onto the bed once again.

"I never really meant what I said. About Shannon."

"I know."

"Talking about Dawson getting married, and Shannon—it just makes everything so real. It forces me out of denial, a blissful place I prefer to dwell…and then I have to ask myself: am I holding onto Dawson because I still love him…or am I holding onto him because he's safe?" Joey looked up at Pacey. "And I'm afraid of my answer."

Pacey slumped next to her on the bed. He looked down at his fidgeting hands and simply replied, "Me, too."

Pacey walked out of Joey's room in the early hours of the next morning. His back ached form falling asleep in the chair next to her bed, but he took it all in stride. Leaving her alone had been out of the question.


	3. Stranded

Chapter Three:

Stranded

By Riley

Dawson felt hopeful as he knocked at the door of the B&B. It was early, but he knew she'd be home and he had to chance waking her up in order to talk to her. He hoped some time apart would help clear the tension from—everything. 

"Hey Bessie, is Joey here?"

"Um, yeah, she's here but she's still asleep."

"I figured she would be, but I really need to talk to her. Is there _any_ way I could see her right now?" Dawson's face was eager as he awaited an answer.

Bessie smiled awkwardly at Dawson, then quickly checked behind her as if looking for someone. "Dawson, she hasn't been feeling well since she's been home. How about I have her call you when she feels better, okay?" 

Dawson's face grew hot with anger, aware that Joey was really the one talking, not Bessie. He avoided her eyes and quietly seethed, "Thanks," as he left the porch and walked down the lawn back to his house.

Bessie walked quietly into Joey's room and sat on the end of her bed. She patted Joey's feet lightly, Joey stirring after only a minute. "Bessie?"

"Morning, Jo."

"What time is it?" 

"It's still pretty early."

"Can I help you make breakfast? Are the guests awake?" Joey asked groggily.

"Not yet. How about you get up, and then over breakfast we'll discuss the real reason I'm lying to Dawson Leery for you." Joey groaned and fell back on the bed. Bessie stood and as she walked out of the room, she said, "I'll be waiting patiently in the kitchen."

She rolled her eyes, wanting to avoid their little "talk" at all costs. She had already made a fool of herself last night in front of…Pacey. Her mind was foggy as to the events of the night before. She thought she heard him leave, but she had no idea at what time. She sighed with gratitude as she thought of Pacey. He had listened good-naturedly as she babbled in self-pity. He had willingly held her close, refusing to leave her side until she had completely fallen asleep.  He was pretty amazing that way.

She suddenly remembered Bessie waiting for her in the kitchen and climbed out of her bed. 

Jen didn't end up calling Joey until late afternoon, but her plans turned out to be more than expected. Jen's boyfriend, Charlie, showed up out of the blue in Capeside and he admittedly wanted to be paraded around town as Jen's man.  So, Jen and Joey's day turned into the dreaded night for all.

No matter how Joey tried to decline, Jen wouldn't hear it. Joey reluctantly gave in when Jen confirmed that Pacey would be going. Good, she thought, at least there's someone I can talk to.  Joey was forced into promising she would be at the local club at nine with Pacey. 

Pacey showed up at the B&B in the truck of all trucks. Walking casually up to the front door, he found Joey looking—unexpectedly striking. She was wearing a dark, knee-length jean skirt with a snug white t-shirt, and a half smile weakly on her lips as she said, "I'm so glad you're here, Pace. I need you to get through this." No response.

"Um, Pacey?"

Embarrassed, he shook himself out of a daze and smiled encouragingly at her. "You'll be fine."

"That's what I keep telling myself." He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the truck. She suddenly stopped in mid-step. 

"Oh, Pacey, no. Jen warned me, but—

Joey's sentence was cut off by her enormous burst of laughter. Pacey shook his head. "I know, I know. But let this be said: this truck can jump at least twenty cars at one time, so…take that into account."

It was Joey's turn, and she affectionately placed her hand in Pacey's as she tried to control her amusement. "This'll be fun." He readily helped her into the truck, and then drove into town.

Knocking on the door to Lily's room, Dawson opened it slightly to find Shannon applying the last touches of her make-up. "Hey," Shannon smiled and set her compact down to hug Dawson. He gently kissed her delicate lips. "Are you ready to go? They're going to be here any minute."

She smiled mischievously at him. "Let's just lock ourselves in this room instead. I'll make it worth your while." Dawson looked deep into her eyes. "I believe you." She kissed him more passionately as the doorbell interrupted their moment. 

Dawson smiled apologetically, "Maybe next time." She smiled and kissed him once more before he ran downstairs and opened the door for Jack, Jen, and Charlie.

"Dawson, it's good to see you again."  Charlie walked ahead of Jack and Jen to shake Dawson's hand. "Nice place. Is this your parent's? Can I have a look around?"

"Sure."

"He certainly has no inhibitions," Jack commented with Jen shaking her head at her boyfriend and Dawson chuckling to himself.  Charlie was giving himself a tour of the house, as Shannon joined the rest of the group in the kitchen. 

Nonchalantly, Dawson walked to Jen's side. He watched Jen for a second and asked, "So, is Joey coming? Did you talk to her?" Jen replied with reassurance, "Yes, Joey Potter is going to make an entrance. She agreed to come with Pacey, and we're meeting them there." Shannon watched as Dawson's face recovered with relief at the news. Dawson knew he should feel reassured. But, he couldn't help but think of Joey and Pacey—forget it. He was just thankful she was coming at all. 

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Should we go or…?"

"Charlie, where are you?" Jen called. "Let's go." She went off in search of him and met the rest of the group in front of the house. 

Charlie entertained them with his antics the entire ride to the bar, leaving no mystery to the relationship he shares with Jen. Dawson had met Charlie before and no matter how much time he spent with him, he never got over how different him and Jen really were. Of course, he thought, he could say the same about his relationship with Shannon. 

They arrived to find Pacey's monster truck already in the parking lot. Dawson could feel the anxiety rising in his stomach, the anticipation of seeing Joey again. He calmly walked into the shady club with Shannon at his side, keeping his eye out for Joey or Pacey.

He saw them sitting in the corner of the bar, Joey laughing as Pacey animatedly told some story or other. It wasn't so much how they looked at each other, but how it made Dawson feel. It was like they were in their own world, never paying attention to the people they were surrounded by, never glancing in a particular direction. And Joey—wow. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her look so amazing. She even looked happy sitting there with Pacey. Not something he wanted to think about.

He was ashamed of himself, though, for feeling this way. He loved Shannon. He honestly did. He had explained his relationship with Joey to Shannon long ago, and she had always been understanding and supportive. She had never once questioned his loyalty to her, and he felt guilty for questioning his loyalty now. 

"Hey, you two." Jen yelled over the crowd.

Pacey turned to find the group approaching the bar. "Hey. Where's Andie and big Dave?" Jack answered as quietly as he could, "Couldn't make it. They had to head back this morning." Pacey nodded and unconsciously skimmed through the group and noticed Dawson staring carefully at Joey. He glanced at Shannon to see if she noticed the obvious, but Charlie was compromising Jen and Shannon's attention. 

"What's up, Chuck?" Pacey called. He couldn't help but laugh every time he saw Charlie. He looked up at Pacey and shook his head. "Witter, you're here?" He walked up to Pacey and gave him a brief man-hug. "Where've you been? Boston hasn't been the same without you. I try to get Jen to go to Old Joe's with me, you know join in on all that fun, but she refuses."

                Pacey laughed at his friend, just as the bartender asked Charlie what he wanted to drink. Pacey turned back to Joey as she scanned the growing crowd. As she watched people dancing, she nudged Pacey's knee. "Capeside is quite the party town. Who knew?" She smiled at Pacey as he nodded in agreement. Not once did she turn towards the group. She leaned over the bar and asked Pacey if she could have his shot. 

                "Um, I don't know if you'll want that—

Joey downed the shot before he could even finish his sentence. 

"Or maybe you do." 

Joey hailed the bartender and asked for another shot of whatever Pacey was drinking. She turned back to Pacey and shrugged. He just nodded. 

 "So, Potter, feel like dancing?" Joey looked around at the others uneasily, but smiled at Pacey anyway. "Sure." Pacey picked up Joey's hand off the bar and led her onto the dance floor. Jack looked at the others in confusion. "Was that uncomfortable—just now. Um, did anyone else catch that?" Charlie shrugged and picked Jen up off the ground and practically carried her onto the dance floor, with her giggling all the way. 

Shannon tapped Dawson on the shoulder. "Shall we?" 

"Oh, uh, yeah. Lets go." She towed him onto the dance floor and planted herself right between the other couples. 

"How're you holding up?"

"As well as expected, I guess. You?" She spoke in quiet tones, keeping close to Pacey's ear.

"Good—considering I get to enjoy your undivided attention tonight."

"Well, get used to it."

Pacey pulled Joey a little closer with every move they made. It happened almost instinctively. Feeling so close to Pacey at that moment, she rested her cheek lightly against his cheek. 

"Thank you, Pacey."

"For what?"

"You."

They continued to sway slowly, and the adrenaline began running through their veins. Each movement caused a reaction within Pacey, forcing him to finally speak.

"Jo?" Pacey pulled away only far enough to look directly into her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"This feels so…right."

Joey kept Pacey's eye, but wasn't sure how to respond. Is that what she was feeling? Again, she rested her cheek against his and continued to hold him close.    

Shannon nuzzled Dawson's neck as they danced. Dawson however did very little to respond as he could not take his eyes of Joey. He could see the closeness of the two dancing—and she smiled at Pacey as if there were no other care in the world. Every time his view of Joey was obscured by Shannon, he would move to just the right angle in order to see her again. He felt desperate to talk to her, and continually tried to make some sort of eye contact with her, but she refused to take her eyes away from Pacey. 

That was even more frustrating that Dawson could've imagined.

Mid-song, Dawson looked at Shannon and asked calmly, "Would you mind if I asked to cut in on Joey? I should really talk to her."

Shannon smiled her same warm smile and nodded. "Sure. I wanted to ask Jack over there to dance anyway." Dawson kissed her lightly on the lips and walked over to Pacey and Joey. He tapped Pacey's shoulder and asked politely, "Can I cut in?" Pacey looked back at Joey and an unspoken understanding passed between them. Pacey let go of Joey, and a sudden feeling of déjà vu struck him. He couldn't recall what the moment reminded him of, but he felt like he was letting go…not just physically, but…he didn't know what.

At the bar, Pacey took a quick shot and immediately asked for another. He turned, leaning his body against the bar, and faced the sea of dancing couples. The bartender handed him another shot and he instantly swallowed it. He searched for Joey and Dawson on the dance floor.

"How are you?"

Joey avoided eye contact. "Better, you?" Dawson looked in the direction she was so intently watching. "Not so good, Jo." He paused as she actually turned to look at him. He kept watching her closely. "I've been thinking about you every waking minute since the other night." She could see the fear in his eyes and knew she was reciprocating that same feeling in her own. 

"Dawson, you're engaged. And I…I'm…"

He continued with his thoughts, "Being here, in Capeside, closer to you than I've been in a long time. Yet forced to stay away from you this entire trip. It's been terrible. I have to fight the urge to…Things are going through my head right now that I never anticipated…"

Joey felt even more uncomfortable than before. "Dawson, what I've been meaning to say is that I'm happy for you." Dawson watched her, confused at this sudden change in perspective from Joey. She quickly glanced at those around her, and spotted Jack and Shannon. She watched them dancing and tried to disconnect herself from the moment, but could not. "You're happier than I've seen you in…I don't even know how long. I'm just…I'm sorry I wasn't apart of it. This is a monumental time in your life, and I want to be supportive of you." After a beat, "I'm sorry, Dawson."

He stood still unsure if he had heard her correctly. Then he pulled her into a tight embrace, startling her. He whispered into her ear, and she could feel the warmth of his breath touch her skin. It mesmerized her.

"All I needed from you Jo, was your support."

Her heart fell with his words. "I know. I'm sorry." Dawson pulled back far enough to look into her eyes, showing the relief he felt at her words. Their eyes lingered and Joey couldn't help but feeling like it was slipping away: The moment, their friendship, everything. Any possibility of a future together was fading away with the rest of the night.

And that's when it finally happened. It was as if Joey lost all track of time and space. Maybe she really was mesmerized by their close proximity and she was suddenly caught in the moment. Or maybe she forgot where they were and whom they were near. But…

Joey kissed Dawson. 

She kissed him with all the passion and vehemence she was feeling. She kissed him hard and long, searching for whatever feeling she knew was missing.  

Even as Pacey watched it, he couldn't grasp it. It seemed to occur in slow motion, as if torturing him with every second of the kiss. He saw the look on her face right before she kissed him. They had been standing still, as the rest of the crowd swayed back and forth to the drone of the music. Even from such a distance, he knew the expression on her face. He _knew it. He had worn it himself, albeit for Joey. _

He reached for another shot. He couldn't remember how many he'd had, but didn't really care. As he swallowed his final shot, he couldn't decipher if it was the alcohol or the spectacle he had just witnessed which burned the inside of him until it reached his center. If she had just said the words, he would've given it all up for her. All of it. But she hadn't. She wanted from Dawson what he wanted from her. Something he could never have again. 

Pacey laughed loudly at himself, disrupting the people around him and generating nervous glances from his drunken mess. Did he _really think something was happening between him and Joey again? Always the sucker, he thought, as he pushed open the entrance door to the bar, letting it slam shut behind him. _

But it was Dawson who interrupted their sweet kiss. He pulled back from her, stunned. Without hesitation he pushed past her in complete confusion, causing her to spin around and watch him as he chased a hysterical Shannon out of the bar. 

Joey sighed in disbelief. She could see Jack out of the corner of her eye, and looked at him long enough to see his disappointment. She turned back towards the entrance, and decided to make a run for it after Dawson. She didn't have any idea what she was doing. She wasn't sure if she had completely lost it, but she did know that Dawson was the key to her sanity right now. 

Stepping into the chill of the night, she searched the darkness and spotted a shadowy figure running to the left of her. Reluctantly, she began chasing after Dawson, and realized the hard way that platforms and running don't mix. Joey was forced to stop when her ankles began to ache, and when she realized she would never reach him. This is ridiculous, she thought. She turned around and walked briskly back to the bar's parking lot and looked for Pacey's truck. It was already gone.

Miserable and tired, Joey walked into the bar expecting a backlash from her old friends. But she never saw Jen or Charlie. Only Jack. He walked up to her and she tried to stammer out something coherent, but found it impossible. His eyes spoke of the sorrow she could feel growing deep inside. Holding back the tears, she blurted. "What did I just do?"

"I better take you home, Joey."

She nodded pathetically as he put his arm around her shoulder and led her back outside to the car. She leaned her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm tightly around his waist, accepting the support he was offering. She was ready to go home. 


End file.
